Ha! Over the past week, I have experienced a situation in my life that at first blush looked like a huge problem, but which instead turned into a huge blessing for me. I wouldn’t have chosen this to happen, especially since it didn’t happen to me but to Ms. B, my dear 83-year old MIL. Last Saturday, she had to have emergency colon surgery. At 83, she is the picture of health, but suddenly became very ill and at the ER, they told us she would have to have the surgery to correct a life-threatening situation. They also told us that it was possibly due to a tumor, and that she most likely would have to have a colostomy, at least for a few months.

A little background: Ms. B lives with Cowpoke…(most of my readers know that although Cowpoke and I are married, we don’t actually live together). He brought her from Kansas over 5 years ago to take care of her, but in truth, she takes care of him mostly. At 83, she does all his laundry, dusts, mops, vacuums. (She is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!) In turn, he does all the shopping, cooking, maintenance, and makes sure she has a baseball game to watch on TV from the first game of the season til the last game of the World Series. She weighs 90 pounds and at 4’11″, looks frail, but she can just about outdo us any day. And on top of all that, she has smoked for 65+ years! Here she is on her 80th birthday, with her two ‘boys’.

Anyway, this sudden illness came at us like a freight train. She had the surgery last Saturday morning. They had told us to expect that she might have to stay on the ventilator…she didn’t. They told us she might have to have a colostomy…she didn’t. We expected her pain level to be high (they cut a 7 inch incision in her abdomen!) but she had pain meds for only 24 hours! We were thankful, because the pain med (morphine) did have quite an affect on her mind; however this was temporary. The surgeon did in fact remove a tumor, which was malignant, but they feel very confident that they removed all of it and her lymph nodes look clear. She was released from the hospital yesterday, just 7 days after major surgery that would have kept a lot of people half her age down for the count. She is up and about, back to smoking and drinking her coffee, watching her ballgames…did I mention she is amazing?

Although I wouldn’t wish this on her for anything, this week truly has been an abundance of blessings. It has given Cowpoke and I a closer sense of partnership and a deeper sense of purpose. It has blessed me with the gift of being a caretaker. It also has deepened my already deep respect for her, as well as for the aging process, and made me less fearful of aging myself. It has doubled my inspiration to physically take good care of myself.

How very blessed I am; I am simply full of gratitude this morning.

Blessings to you all,

Nancy

How many of you have had an ah-ha moment only to realize this isn’t the first time you’ve had the same realization? Aw come on now…I can’t be the only one this happens to.

So what’s up with this anyway? I mean, I don’t consider myself either the sharpest or dullest knife in  the drawer, but when this happens to me, I’m like ‘duh’! Hit me in the head with a hammer!

I’ve talked about epiphanies before and it is my opinion that it’s only a true epiphany if it becomes part of your psyche. When you really absorb the thought or concept into your very way of life, then it becomes a true epiphany. Otherwise, it’s just a cool mantra that you happen upon and then forget about, until voila…it reappears. Either you eventually embrace and absorb it, or you just keep getting hit in the middle of the forehead with it.

There’s a third choice, however. That is to really spend quality time with it. Turn it over in your mind. Say it out loud. Write it down. Journal about it. Discuss it with a friend. In this way, you can begin to understand if it is authentic to who you are. And if you finally accept it as true, begin to practice it in small ways. Try it on for size. Acknowledge it in your daily life. You get the picture…or am I just hitting you in the forehead with a hammer now?

Check back soon for a new style post In Search Of The Perfect Top…

With blessings and a wish for a wonderful Labor Day weekend,

Nancy

Anyway, we spent the better part of a day sifting through clothing, and stacking boxes, etc. at her new home. As we sifted and talked, she put more and more stuff in a new give-away pile. As she let go of more stuff, her whole psyche seemed to lighten, and she commented in a subsequent email how much clearer her thoughts were. Later, I recalled having experienced and witnessed this very phenomena several times in my own clearing, as well as in clearings with clients. In fact, I created a month-long workshop around this early this year.

And yet, I had forgotten the dramatic connection between clearing your physical space and clarity of the mind. Needless to say, after the workday with my friend, I was very inspired to come home and pack up all the stuff I had been collecting in my own give-away pile. I did that on Sunday, put it in the car, and then on Monday dropped it off. On Monday afternoon, I cleaned out my kitchen cabinet, emptied the freezer and fridge of old stuff, and actually washed out my fridge!!!! I then made another pass through my closet and gleaned a couple more items (I am doing this periodically now and each time find a couple more things to remove).

And like my friend, I found I had a re-newed sense of clarity and was able to focus so much more freely. It’s like having a cool, clear mountain breeze blow right through my brain! I was able to make some HUGE progress in an area of my life I have been struggling with for many months, and I am profoundly grateful for the opportunity to share that success here.

Of course, it turned my mind to another conundrum which I shall begin discussing in future posts…the fine line between Enough and Too Much.

Blessings to you all,

Nancy

Here’s the thing…my man wears a white hat. Just look at this great picture from our wedding last year.

Not just any guy could pull this look off, but Cowpoke does it perfectly. I love it when Cowpoke wears his white hat, not only because I love the way he looks in it, but more importantly because it speaks to who he is and how comfortable he is in his own skin.

The metaphor of the ‘guy in a white hat’ isn’t lost here. In fact, it’s one of the main things that speaks to me about Cowpoke’s white hat. A white hat denotes ‘one of the good guys’, and a good guy is exactly what Cowpoke is.

To put it another way, remember the old nursery rhyme that lists what little boys are made of? Snips and snails and puppy dog tails? Well, here’s a partial list of what Cowpoke is made of…

* Values – Cowpoke has a solid set of values and he lives by them. He will always be honest with you, he believes in the Golden Rule, he always goes above and beyond…in work, in love, in life.
* Kind / compassionate – He is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I know. The only way I know to describe it is by example…one day on vacation this year, we stopped for gas just outside of Amarillo. It was hot, really hot, and we had just loaded back up and were heading out. There was a guy sitting on the side of the road with a sign, and Cowpoke stopped, rolled down the window and handed the guy an ice-cold bottle of water and a $10 bill. That’s just one example but there are so many more.
* Respectful of himself and others – As I have shared before, Cowpoke is a man of few words. He doesn’t sit around and mouth off about people, he doesn’t criticize and cut people down. He respects everyone’s right to have their own opinion. At the same time, he has a lot of self-respect and everyone who knows him respects him too. And there are no control issues with Cowpoke. None. Yippee!
* Industrious, selfless, and loyal – As I mentioned earlier, Cowpoke works really hard. He never whines or complains, no matter what the circumstances. He just ‘mans-up’ and does what it takes to get the job done, no matter what the job is. He has a great sense of responsibility, too. And he is very giving. After working hard all day, he goes home and cooks a hot meal for his mom. He is devoted to his sons. He helps friends with their building projects. And then there are all the little (and big) things he does for me. He built my back-yard oasis. He surprises me by cutting my yard. When I stay at his house, he lays out my towel, washcloth, Q-tip, flosser, etc. In the winter, he gets up out of a warm bed and goes out and starts my car. He puts a towel in the dryer and rolls it up and puts it in arm-reach of the shower for me. Really, I could go on and on but I’m sure there is a limit to how many words this server can handle:-) And he does it all with style!

* Courageous – Cowpoke doesn’t look for trouble, but if trouble comes a’knockin, he’ll stand up to it. He will always be there for those he loves, for the underdog, for his family and friends, for his country…after all, he’s an ex-Marine (from the old school)…need I say more?
* EQ (emotional quotient) –This is one of the ways I love Cowpoke…His EQ is exceptional! He is sooo very manly, but at the same time affectionate, sensitive, funny, and joyful. He is emotionally mature, can speak his feelings, and shows them appropriately. If he is having a hard time, he doesn’t let that affect the way he treats other people or the way he shows up in his relationships.
* Adventurous – Yes! And playful! He is so much fun to be around. It’s such a joy to be best friends with someone who is (age-appropriately) adventurous.
* Passionate – I’m not going to comment…let this one stand on it’s own;-)

Everyday I’m amazed that this man is a part of my life. After five years together, I can honestly say there is nothing about him I would change. Is he perfect? No, probably not. Is he perfect for me? Oh, yes…yes, he is.

Semper Fi, Cowpoke, Semper Fi! And blessings to you all…here’s hoping each of you ladies has or finds your own ‘good guy’, and that each of you guys strives to ‘wear a white hat’.

Nancy

Double WOW on the vacation! I’m not going to bore you with all 536 pictures I took of Northern New Mexico and Southwestern Colorado, but I will be sprinkling a few in over the next few weeks. I am so thankful for being able to take such a wonderful, unique trip with my very best friend. It was exciting, beautiful, delicious, adventurous. We went from 100+ to high-50 degree weather, from 600 feet above sea level to 12,000+. We saw the high desert and green mountain glens. And we put a combined 4500 miles on the car and the motorcycle…all in 11 days. Oh, and of course, with Cowpoke’s unfailing ‘diner’ antennae, we had scrumptious food all along the way.

So, here I am back at home with so much to say that I just can’t get it all organized. I think all I really want to say today is that I am so very grateful for my life, for my family, for the twists and turns, highs and lows. I am thankful for the five senses God built us with that allow us to enjoy life to the fullest. I am thankful for creative moments, reflective moments, and emotional moments. Blessings are all around us, and sometimes just stopping and seeing nature brings them all up front where we can truly appreciate them all.

Blessings to each of you!

Nancy

Several weeks ago, while browsing in The Iron Gate , one of my favorite shops in Franklin, TN., I paused at a lovely display of Lafco candles which apparently made Oprah’s Favorites 2010 list .  Well, you know I just had to stop and sniff around a bit. Each of their House and Home candles is named for a type of home and also has a fragrance name such as “Fog and Mist” Lighthouse candle. The large 16 oz candle is poured into a hand-blown reusable “art glass” for a cost of $55. Although I left without buying a candle, I noticed that none of the fragrances hurt my sensitive nose…which in my book, is a huge plus. Another plus was that they smelled so good…which spoke to the quality of their fragrances.

The mass market fragrance industry is projected to be in the range of $6 billion in 2012 (per a 2008 report by Packaged Facts). This was astounding to me until I thought about how I see candles and other fragrant devices everywhere…Target to grocery stores to restaurants and certainly specialty shops. So I started thinking…with such a wide range of pricing, what differentiates one candle from another.

Centuries ago, candles were made from animal fat or whale blubber. Now, candles are made from paraffin, a petroleum product, or vegetable or soy products all of which are mixed with other ingredients to produce a solid wax. Fragrance, added to this mixture, is released into the air as the wick burns. These fragrances can come from synthetic chemical mixtures or from essential oils.  Writer Victoria Anisman-Reiner refers to a “chemical soup of additives, synthetic fragrances, and preservatives” in candles.

Interestingly enough, candle makers are not required to list their ingredients on a label. We are left then with not knowing exactly what is being released into our homes whenever we light a candle or home fragrance product. I suppose the government is more concerned with what we eat being labeled than in what we breathe being labeled.

In the “how to” category, wicks should be trimmed to a .25” height before each burning. The reason we should do this is to prevent soot from entering our homes. A candle works like this: the flame melts the wax which is then drawn up into the wick. The flame vaporizes the wax and releases the fragrance. Wicks are made to bend at a 90 degree angle to keep the flame burning cleaner. And Gertrude, you do realize that a multi-wick candle burns faster – it is not your imagination.

The well known Yankee Candle produces their candles from “highly refined paraffin waxes” and uses a cotton wick but does not tell us the origin of their scents. With a 65 – 90 hour burn time, their 14.5 oz single wick jar candle sells for $22.99 which is $1.58 per oz. With over 150 fragrances and a large retail distribution, one is likely to see this brand frequently. While I love the names they use on their candles, my nose refuses to let my brain bring one home.

Bath and Body Works  is also another familiar retailer of home fragrances. Like Yankee Candle, Bath and Body shop’s candles are packaged in a lidded glass container. They are made with the “highest concentration of fragrance oils, an exclusive blend of vegetable wax and lead-free wicks”. With a 40 – 65 hour burn time, Bath & Body Shop’s 3 wick large glass canister candle weighs in @ 14.5 oz for $19.50 = $1.35 per oz. I’ve found that most of their fragrances are quite pungent to my nose but I have found a few that I like. Currently, I use  ”Eucalyptus Mint” and “Verbena Waters”.

So back to the pricey candles. I had fun browsing the online site of Candle Delirium.   Selecting a few brands I’d heard of, here are some comparisons:

•  Cire Trudon: 70 – 80 hour burn time, $75 for a 9.5 oz = $7.89 per oz; veggie wax
•  Lafco NY = 90 hour burn time, $55 for a 16 oz = $3.45 per oz; soy based wax with a cotton wick
•  Belle Fleur: 40+ hour burn time, $48 for a 7.5 oz = $6.40 per oz; doesn’t tell us the wax content
•  Olivina = 50+ hour burn time, $42 for an 8.5 oz = $4.94 per oz; soy blend wax
•  Votivo = 50 hour burn time; $25 for a 6.8 oz = $3.84 per oz, soy blend
•  Even the Donald sells candles now. Trump Home Fragrance doesn’t tell us the wax content but 10 oz @ $44 = $4.40 per oz for a 100 hour burn time

If you want to do the math, you could compare the per ounce burn rate to the size of the candle for an additional factor in purchasing a candle, meaning that a slower burning candle may be a better deal.

Oh! Do you smell that? The aroma of success. Guess I never realized just how sweet was the scent of my burning money.

(Note: Many thanks to Nancy Harris for asking me to do these guest blogs while she was on vacation. Mary Loging from Mary Loging Designs )

Why is it then that some of us persist in placing boulders directly in our own pathway, obstructing the flow of blessings? Do you recognize any of these boulders in your daily life? How we deal with these boulders is directly related to our ability to receive blessings.

• Boulder of fear
• Boulder of complaining
• Boulder of negativity
• Boulder of complacency
• Boulder of entitlement

Blessings are all around us but our spirit and mind must be open and “navigable” in order to receive them. We can’t see or experience or recognize blessings when we are paralyzed by fear, when complaints spew from our lips, when we are cloaked in negativity, when our senses are shredded by chaos or when our ego triggers feelings of entitlement.

We can experience a continuing abundance of blessings when our spirit avenues are open and are swept clear of these boulders that are part of the human condition.

Consider using these “boulder busters” to clear the way for a happier, more joyful life.

Faith is a fear buster. A well known acronym for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Blogger Jenny Finch states this about fear: “Think of how many talents, dreams, goals, businesses, gifts, jobs, relationships and so much more go to the grave with people “. Fear is a boulder stopping us from experiencing the life for which we were each uniquely created. Blow away this fear boulder with faith. Three of my favorite scriptures state: 1 Peter 5:7 Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you. Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Grasping these truths gives us the strength to demolish the fear boulder.

Praise is a complaining buster.  Writer Steve Pavalina says about complaining: “Complaining is the act of reinforcing what you don’t want and intending even more of it.” Do you get that? What we dwell on and focus on guarantees that we’ll get more of the same thing. The Bible does not tell us to complain but rather to praise God continually, “.. therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.” (Heb. 13:15 KJV). We cannot have complaints in a mind and heart full of praise. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). Erase the complaint boulder with praise.

Gratitude is a negativity buster. Sarah Young tells us in “Jesus Calling: Finding Peace in His Presence” that our hearts and minds must be grateful. The devotional reading for July 4th states that our praises are heard in heaven. This gratitude clears the way to God. Sarah states, “With the way between us wide open, My blessings fall upon you in rich abundance”. “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Cultivating a grateful heart and mind is a powerful force against the negativity boulder. Being grateful instead of negative opens our spirit to receive blessings.

Meditation is a chaos buster. The boulder of chaos is characterized by anxious and negative thoughts, by worry and hand-wringing. Through meditation, we acknowledge the fact that we are spirit beings in a human body. We renew our mind and our spirit and can then focus on the good “.., but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2)”. We are instructed to not be anxious in “Philippians 4:6-8 Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Luke 12:22-26, NIV: “Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” With our spirit and mind calmed, we can see the chaos boulder dissipate.

Giving is an entitlement buster. “It is not fair” our child cries when she or he is overlooked for selection on a sports team. As adults, we may even feel the “it is not fair” syndrome when life takes something or someone from us. With maturity we can come to understand that no one is promised fairness. 2 Corinthians 9: 6 states: He who sows sparingly and grudgingly will also reap sparingly and grudgingly, and he who sows generously [that blessings may come to someone] will also reap generously and with blessings. Acts 20: 35 It is more blessed to give than to receive. We can abolish the entitlement boulder by developing a giving attitude.

A Few of My Dear Friends on Blessings

Diana says that a blessing: “… comes from a place that is least expected, and it is also totally unexpected. It just kind of drops in your lap, but you know…because it has no strings attached, it flows without problems, and it gives you perfect peace.” Diana practices gratitude and thankfulness which opens the way for her to receive blessings.

Nancy says: “I don’t always recognize blessings…sometimes they come disguised as problems.” Nancy inspires me with the way she uses prayer and meditation to find the blessings within the boulders.

Brenda says: “Sometimes, I recognize a blessing because I see someone with such a different life from mine…a man with no legs, a friend who will never get to be a grandmother”. Brenda is part of a long-standing praise and prayer group which helps each other handle the boulders in their lives.

Linda says of blessings: “It is a mind thing. One can choose to “see” almost everything as a blessing or be blind to all the gifts. The mind switch is mandatory to recognize blessings. Change the way you see your life and you change your life. Once the switch in “seeing” happens then you start to live a life of gratitude. Once you live a life of gratitude, the more blessings you receive. Life itself is a blessing. I see all things that make up my life as blessings. They are so integrated in my daily life, I do not see them separate from breathing.” Linda is one of my “she-roes” for the manner in which she blasts away the boulders in her life.

What blessings do you have in your life?

We are so blessed to be able to do what we love on trips like this; that is, ride with the wind in our hair and see the utmost in God’s beautiful creation. And thanks to Cowpoke’s unerring sense of cuisine-based direction, we will for sure run up on the most delectable little diners, cafes, and drive-ins. Yum!!!

In my absence, Mary Loging of Mary Loging Designs will be writing a couple of divine posts. Please check back in the next couple of weeks for some delightful writings by Mary. In the meantime, much love to you all; have a safe and happy 4th of July!

Life is Sweet, indeed!

Nancy

The first Sheroe is a sistah who has opened her home…strike that…GIVEN her home to another sistah for the next year, for a mutually beneficial purpose and fee. Sistah One is going to live in her lake cabin for the next year so Sistah Two can live in her home, and so that she can move forward with her own plans of turning her passion for giving into her life purpose. Sistah One has one of the largest hearts of anyone I know. She truly walks the walk of giving. In fact, you have to be careful what you say around Sistah One…if you mention a need or a want, she may just fulfill it right there. She gave me a most amazing necklace, just because I admired it on her so much (she wouldn’t take no for an answer…really, I tried).

Sistah Two also inspires me, thru good times and bad. Although she has recently had what many would call a string of bad luck, she doesn’t see it that way. She faces every challenge as an opportunity; she not only has an indomitable spirit, but she has a natural optimism that is surely a gift from God. She is persistent, courageous, insightful, and quite honestly has been the most influential person on my life. God sure knew what he was doing when he made her.

The next sistah is a young woman that I know only casually, but would like to know better. She is smart, capable, assertive, but also a giver. She recently donated 11 inches of her hair to a charity; yep, cut off 11 inches to give away. And she is more beautiful than ever! Her new style is sooo becoming and I am sooo inspired by such a giving heart.

Ok, talk about adversity and persistence! This next sistah has both in spades. She has had a lifetime of severe health issue, surviving over 40 major surgeries, and at the age of 40-ish, went to nursing school and became an RN. She took her training to the next level, helping people in occupational injuries. She has such compassion for people and animals, and has been my personal Sheroe for many years. And I just love her to pieces!

I admire this sistah because of her sweet spirit and her healthy self-image. She always offers words of encouragement and often helps build up other women’s self-esteem. She is amazing with a pair of hair shears, and knows just what to do to make other women look great, and she is an absolute doll herself.

Another sistah that I know only casually, but she amazes me with her willingness to do for others…especially for the friends of her kids. She is like a second mom to many kids, including mine. My son talks about her quite often and I realize she, like many other women, has had a hand in forming him into the wonderful young man that he is becoming.

This sistah I only know via long-distance but she is a-m-a-z-i-n-g! She is a personal mentor, coach, and so much more. A true inspiration to me and countless other women. She has an entrepreneurial outreach that serves so many women, and I have been forever changed by knowing her.

This last sistah raised two sons on a minimum wage job while dealing with a first husband who was a cheater and later a convicted criminal, and a second husband who was abusive beyond belief. In a time when women did not stand on their own two feet, and rarely divorced, she stood up twice and said Enough! And in the meantime, she instilled an innate sense of goodness into the man who ended up being my soul-matey. No wonder I fell in love with him! And I’m happy to say she’s still alive and well, and the two husbands???  Well, let’s just say they have both gone on to their ‘just rewards’.

These are just a few of my Sheroes. I would love to hear about yours…won’t you take a minute to post a comment here about a Sheroe of yours? And while you’re at it, tell that Sheroe what an impact she’s had on your life!!

Wow, do we women realize the power we have to help support and influence each other and by doing so, shape our future????

With much love for these Sheroes and for each of you,

Nancy

Rockin’ Roadtrip – Recently Cowpoke and I went on a couple of weekend roadtrips on the bike. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy these trips. Spending time with Cowpoke this way is awesome because we both love the whole experience of a bike ride. We search out the most twisty and less-travelled roads we can find, and let the road lead us. It’s always an adventure and we usually run up on a yummy roadside cafe to try out. On this trip, we found Larry’s BBQ in Decherd – yummm!

Awesome Threesome – Had the most delightful reunion with two childhood friends this week. We calculated it had been 40 years since we had been all been together. Aren’t they beautiful? And mega-accomplished!

Vacation is coming up soon – a two-week roadtrip!!!!!!!! Last year, as you recall, after Cowpoke and I got married we were going to head out west on a road trip and he detached his bicep 3 days before our departure. I also had an arm in a cast – don’t ask…it was a crazy year. Anyway, we’re currently both in decent shape and unless something happens, we’ll be out travelling the roads. While I’m gone, I have asked Mary of MaryLogingDesigns  (creater of these awesome notecards) to do a couple of guest blogs. You are in for a real treat, so keep checking back.

I have a really exciting style venture I am embarking on with a couple of exciting and legendary women – I will be sharing more on this in coming weeks…Stay tuned!

Hoping you all have a treasure-filled weekend!

With Love,

Nancy a.k.a LifeIsSweet a.k.a. Wildthing